Alpha Beta
Here’s one a lot will have been waiting for, or dreading, and is sure to set the feathers flying.
For those men, young and old, who have heard all the talk about “Alpha males” and “Beta males,” and wondered at their own status, here is your opportunity for a self-test. (There have been other categories identified, besides Alpha and Beta, but for our purposes today, we’ll just work with those two.)
Amusingly, they’re trying to backtrack on the very concept that there are categories, but, as a generalization, consider Alphas to be dominant types, also called “macho” or “players,” with “game.” Betas are mostly just normal schlubs that typically struggle to find mates and don’t set women’s hearts aglow.
This is not to rain on anybody’s parade. There are good reasons for these divisions, and it isn’t necessarily “better” to be one or the other, and there will always be a clear divide between them.
So, on to the test, and it’s nice to have one so clear-cut, inspired by a story from an old PUA (“pick-up artist”) blog.
A certain poor sap, whom we’ll refer to as “PS,” was in line with his girlfriend to get autographs from a rock and roll band they (presumably) both liked – certainly she did. However, record store security hustled PS out the door about five seconds after he got his CD signed, while the girlfriend was left to be chatted up by the group.
When she finally stumbled out, she explained that the members of the group had invited her to some “party,” and she admitted to being tempted, and to having a crush on the lead singer, but she knew “the party” would be just a quick pump-and-dump, and wouldn’t lead to anything serious.
The boyfriend had figured out that the band had the security well-trained to single out only the good-looking girls, and was burstingly proud of his “Chickie” for not succumbing to temptation. In fact, he was so sure he, “had a good one,” that he married her. Ugh.
This is worth musing on for a while. The comments section to this oatmeal had surprisingly few reasoned ideas regarding this situation, but the good ones were very good. Some people made a case that he should have dumped her sorry azz on the spot. That seemed extreme to some, but she would never tolerate such behavior from him. It would have been empowering for PS, with the caveat of a parting message: That he wasn’t cutting her loose for her honesty about her attraction and temptation, but for not leaving the store along with him, when he’d gotten the boot.
Interesting to know the motivation behind these “signings,” but, really, he shouldn’t have found himself in this conundrum in the first place. Lined up like sheep to get autographs from the Big Band Man. What are they, 10 years old?
There is another way PS could have boosted his “cred” a million times with a simple exercise of firmness and will.
If you’re a man, take a few moments to consider his alternatives, assuming he found himself in this predicament through no fault of his own. Now monitor your own reaction to the following strategy.
One correct alternative is this: At the signing table he should have simply ordered his girl to, “Be sure to get extra autographs for our sweet little baby at home,” then bent down to slowly rub her tummy, “And for the fresh bun I just put in the oven.”
Now, your reaction. This almost needs a table or chart, because there are gradations here. Some might do this themselves without hesitation. Some might consider it. Some won’t even understand how or why anyone would do it.
It is a beautiful, simple test. It should be clear, though, that the Alphas are the ones who would follow through, and Betas would not.
Those who cringe at the idea of the rubbing or “saying the bad words” in front of the Big Band Man, and there are many, are unequivocally Beta. Alphas will intuitively appreciate the concept.
Some would say they are up to the task, then be unable to follow through. There are some unstables who would do it and queer the job, by wearing a stupid look on their face, having trembling hands, doing hover-hand, or some other devastating botch.
If there’s interest, we might follow up and analyze the effectiveness of strategies like this, but for now, those who harbor doubts should ponder on it. For homework, watch the movie, The Getaway (1994 version) and make an effort to figure out what that tells you about relationships, another excellent self-test.
Is Everything Like This Now?
Is this a thing now, where the idea of cheating is so casually bandied about? Why even bother to get married or make a “commitment” in the first place, then?
A book by John Gray detailed how he asked his wife if it was okay for him to cheat... *Groan!* After all, he was a big time psychiatrist and had published books for sale and women were throwing themselves at him, and he deserved it.
She thought about it for a while, as this was apparently “their way,” and told him that she wouldn’t feel all that comfortable about it, heh.
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